Full-Time Training - Testimonies

Well Pleasing to God, C.L.

It is unbelievable that in two months I will be graduating from two years of the Full-Time Training in Anaheim (FTTA). I will never forget the precious time I have spent here with the Lord and the trainees. Through the intense speaking, shining, enlightening, self-stripping and inward dealing I have learned how to live a Christian life that really pleases my God. I struggled very much before I came to the training because I didn't know the way to live a Christian life. I had tried hard using my own effort to please Him without His presence and blessing.

In the training I'd gradually realized the Lord never cares how much I do for Him outwardly, but He only cares how much I love and enjoy Him. The Lord tried to show me this point by putting me into a very hard incident. During my second term, one time I went ice-skating with the young people that I met with. Because I didn't know how to ice skate I worried that I would not make the kids happy and they would feel disappointed with me. So, I made up my mind that I would learn ice-skating that day. The young people were having a good time skating with other trainees, but I felt so useless and anxious. I was practicing very hard and felt so embarrassed when the young people sometimes had to guide me to skate. At the end, I started to skate with more confidence but unexpectedly I fell very badly on the floor. I fractured my ankle for the first time in my life. I had to put on a cast and walked with crutches for six weeks in the Training. During that period of time, I was even more useless. I complained so much to the Lord asking why that happened to me. I couldn't get my own meals, I couldn't clean, I couldn't cook my own food, I couldn't even get in a car without others' help. I was really useless during that time and the young people had to help me to carry my bag. I told the Lord “I can't take this anymore; I am so useless.” Eventually, I was tired of complaining, then I heard Him telling me, “Just rest in me, I don't need your natural ability. I don't need you to learn ice skating and I don't need you to take care of the young people.”

Through my experience in the training I realized I had been a very religious Christian. Witness Lee defines being religion as worshipping God, serving God, and doing certain things to please God, yet without Christ. A religion is anything people do for God without the Spirit, without Christ. Witness Lee said we should drop all our religious concepts and stop our doings. We should just love and enjoy Christ as our Bridegroom. We should care for nothing else but for His presence as our Bridegroom (Matthew 9:14-15) in everything we do.

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